Once you reach 30 and beyond, you encounter a very frightening phenomena.
At first you hardly notice it. Don’t want to notice it. Can’t accept
that it’s happening. But little by little, recognition dawns – as does the
shock.
First there’s your hairdresser, whose blank eyes seem to be focused on
anything but your dyed locks her practiced hands are dressing.
Then there’s the bank-teller, looking as though he should still be at
school, explaining to you the finer points of banking procedure too loudly and
too clearly, almost as if he thinks you’ve just dropped in on planet earth and
banking is a novelty to you.
And then, the bitterest blow of all.
You’re sitting on a bar stool, new hair-do, new outfit, looking
absolutely drop-down gorgeous, when you see this young fellow smiling warmly as
he begins to move in your direction. In the middle of your own gratified
answering smile, you realize with horror, that he’s smiling at your neighbour.
A fifteen year old with a fake ID and make-up put on with a trowel.
That’s when it hits you. You’re becoming invisible.
In a culture that will see the majority of men and women marry more than
once – and sometimes when they’re fifty, sixty and even older – it’s
difficult for an older couple not to notice the effect they’re having on the
younger generation. If they also happen to choose a honeymoon playground largely
patronized by the very young, they can’t avoid seeing how their togetherness
seems to arouse smiles and nudges.
To counter the feeling of reduction, and to assert themselves as people in
their own rights, older couples tend to react in two different ways. There are
those that adopt all the attributes of the very young – acting, talking,
dressing as if they were, in fact, twenty years younger than they are. At the
other extreme, they become the grumpy old men and women who fail to see anything
of value in the youth-worshiping world of today.
Those imitating youth, sooner or later reach the conclusion that acting
like a young goat is not only not satisfying, but actually gives them that
hollow feeling of being less than they are.
But just because they decide to stop imitating youth, doesn't mean that
now they have to go the way of the grumps. Perhaps the world isn’t the way it
used to be, but being open to new ideas as youth tends to be, allows you to feel
less like a visitor in your own world. It may even help you to enjoy life on
your own terms.
